“I do skeet shooting.”
Of course you do, Mr. President.
“I do skeet shooting all the time.”
Which is why skeet shooters (not “doers” of skeet or “skeeters” as you call them) took a quick look at your photo and noted your aim is straight ahead, not upward where the clay target would be. They also noticed you’re pictured using a gun designed for trap shooting, wearing dark sunglasses on a cloudy day, holding the gun incorrectly, your shoulder shows no reaction to what should be the gun’s recoil, and a few other oddities.
There’s also the White House press corps reports stating you played golf all day before flying to Camp David to “relax” after an exhausting birthday on the links. No mention of skeet. It was predictable.
It also doesn’t really matter. What does matter is Americans on Facebook, Twitter, radio and at the office coffee dispenser laughingly knew a photo, real or otherwise, would pop up as soon as you decided it was so important during your gun control campaign to defend a comment you made to a little-known political outlet.
They parody your duplicity, beginning with your proselytized bipartisanship. While Republicans presented you with solutions for the rising costs of health care, you went to the press to say Republicans brought no ideas. The truth would have been to say they brought no ideas you liked or wanted to incorporate, until it was election time. Then you shouted to the world that your plan was based on conservative ideas. Your left-of-center supporters said, “Yeah. So there,” smiling because they enjoyed playing along with what they saw as a big joke on the right.
The problem, Mr. President, is that you do this so often that one may reasonably presume you don’t get the joke because, to you, it’s serious. You must really think you’re fooling people simply because your friendly press doesn’t call you on it and defends you with so-called “fact checkers.”
Why else would you ruin the career of Susan Rice if you didn’t think you could get away with fooling the American people with a fictitious story about a video being responsible for a carefully planned attack on our Benghazi mission?
Why else would you reward Goldman Sachs executives with cushy government jobs instead of prosecuting them for violating investment laws and wreaking havoc on our economy?
Why else would you give billions of tax dollars to companies bundling campaign contributions for you and your party when your own financial analysts predicted they were facing bankruptcy?
Why else would you secure profitable deals for your friends at pharmaceutical companies while pushing an “affordable” health care plan that now puts in peril 500,000 children whose families would otherwise have been able to afford major medical health insurance through their employers?
Because you really are getting away with it.
Take, for example, the federal appellate court that found you guilty of betraying your oath to the Constitution. It’s not like you’re going to jail or going to be impeached. There is no tangible price to pay for your duplicity.
On the lighter side, please reconsider the phrase, “I do skeet shooting.” Skeet shooters don’t “do” shooting. They “shoot,” as in, “let’s go shoot skeet.”
In an effort to be helpful, Mr. President, here are some other phrases that would indicate the speaker doesn’t really participate in said activities:
“I do bowling”
“I do archery. Yes, I really do bows and arrows.”
“I do stamp collecting.”
“I do bipartisan.”
Rick Jensen is a Cagle Cartoons syndicated columnist.