Dear eBay Queen: I bought an item two weeks ago. After two days, I noticed the seller hadn’t marked the item shipped, and there was not a delivery confirmation number on my purchasing history page. I sent the seller a message asking when I would receive my item. She emailed me back to say she had lost it, and would try to find it so she could send it to me. She then asked me if I wanted a refund. I replied that I did not want a refund since she said that she would find it soon.

Several days went by. I sent her a message asking for details about the item and what had happened. She did not reply. I sent her another message two days later asking the same thing. She rudely replied and told me to stop constantly emailing her about the status on the item. We got into a little argument, and she offered to send me a check. I refused and told her to put the money back in my card, but she hasn’t. It’s been a week, and I have not received anything. I sent her a polite message two days ago and no reply. Should I warn her that I am going to file a claim? What should I do? — Don

Dear Don: I can’t believe that this seller would not update you herself! She’s the one in the wrong. I’m assuming, since you said she needed to put this back on your card, that you paid with PayPal, right? I would send her one more email and ask for the money to be refunded through PayPal. Do not threaten with a claim, feedback or anything else. Just be professional and kind. If she does not send the money back within 24 hours, I would then file a claim.

If you do end up filing a claim, make sure you are professional and polite on the claim. eBay reviews the claims and I would not want anyone to have any ammunition to use against you.

Dear eBay Queen: I won an auction last Friday morning. Within two hours of winning, the seller sent a message stating “Please check out now or I will relist.” As a seller myself, I found this to be unprofessional and rude. I am a brand new customer for them and giving them my business. On Saturday morning, I received another email saying if I don’t pay for the item today, that she/he will relist.” Again, it had not even been 16 hours.

I am wondering the best way to handle this. I paid for the items in a timely manner, about 18 hours after the auction was over. As a seller myself, I would not want to wait for payment so I do my best to pay ASAP, and I think 18 hours after the sale ended was fast. I am just taken aback by the rudeness of the seller’s emails — not a thank you for purchasing or reminder to pay ... It was pretty much “pay or else.”

Is it worth it to leave neutral feedback (once I receive the item and it is as described of course)? The experience was not pleasant at all. What would appropriate feedback and DSRs be to leave for this transaction? I’m thinking I should hit the DSRs hard, especially the communications DSR. The DSRs seem more important to eBay’s computers than feedback. Do you have any suggestions? — Michelle

Dear Michelle: Before I would leave feedback, I would check out his seller terms and contact him.

• What do his terms say? Does it say items need to be paid for the moment you win the auction? I agree, this guy is jumping the gun a bit.

• Have you contacted him and asked him why he was sending these emails before 24 hours had even passed?

I probably would do that before I gave him the neutral. Another thing I would do is contact eBay to let them know this guy is demanding buyers pay immediately, and sending threatening emails.

I’m not sure what type of feedback I would leave. I probably would ding his communication star for his inability to communicate. I don’t know that I would leave a neutral or a negative feedback. Whatever feedback you do leave, I would make sure it is clear and to the point. “Item arrived in perfect condition. Seller demanded I pay minutes after the sale or else.”

Strange eBay item of the week: eBay item No. 160898864420. I have never been one to decorate for Thanksgiving. I wish I was, so I could have a few of these to sell! Check out this “Simpich Character Doll Thanksgiving Indian.” It sold for $527 at http://www.ebay.com/itm/Simpich-Character-Dolls-Thanksgiving-Pilgrims-and-Indians-Indian-Boy-/160898864420

Suzie Eads is a nationally known eBay marketer and eBay trained education specialist. She lives in Rantoul. Do you have a question for the eBay Queen? Email her at the eBay Queen