A woman in Florida recently renewed her wedding vows to a giant Ferris wheel she calls Bruce, a theme park ride she reportedly legally married last year. The “couple’s” story was detailed on Logo TV, a cable channel specializing in programing for the LGBT community.
Remember all those gay marriage opponents who said allowing same-sex unions would lead to a slippery slope, where courts would be forced to recognize marriages between multiple spouses and even couplings of humans with animals or inanimate objects?
Well, whether you believe the Florida case is tied to the fight for marriage equality or not, it proves we’ve somehow slid to the bottom of that metaphoric slope.
“There’s not really a whole lot of difference in how we do things or how we spend time with each other,” Linda Ducharme said about her relationship with Bruce, as compared to other married couples. “My goal is to spend the rest of my life and grow old with him, and eventually get a piece of land where we can just be all by ourselves.”
Ducharme’s bizarre love story with the Ferris wheel is made more inexplicable by the fact that Florida isn’t even a state where gay couples can legally marry — a hypocrisy-exposing juxtaposition on which the folks at Logo TV likely hoped to capitalize by airing the show.
As Americans continue to argue the merits of same-sex marriage — with many advocates using the catchphrase “You can’t legislate love” — where do Ducharme and Bruce fit in? (The woman and her theme park lover were married by a Catholic priest who later resigned from his post over his role in the ceremony.)
The Florida woman’s obsession with a Ferris wheel isn’t her first love affair with an inanimate object, according to media accounts. Before meeting Bruce, “Ducharme already knew she had a proclivity for objects,” The New York Daily News reported. “She’d previously fallen in love with an airplane when she was a pilot and was involved in an intimate relationship with a train. ... Ducharme even became a conductor to get closer to the locomotive.”
Weird? Yes. Love? That’s where it gets iffy.
What’s clear: Ducharme’s marriage to a Ferris wheel trivializes and de-values straight and gay unions alike. If “marriage” means you can wed an inanimate hunk of steel, what’s the point? It’s all just pretending — trading reality for the absurd.
We now find ourselves at the bottom of the slippery slope, hopefully looking up rather than seeing if there’s any further we can slide.
— Tommy Felts,