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Thursday, August 27, 2009 11:36 AM

DR. DOBSON: Children’s behavior may be accidental, not intentional

By DR. JAMES DOBSON, Focus On The Family

QUESTION: I need more help understanding how to interpret childish behavior. My problem is that I don’t know how to react when my son, Chris, annoys me. I’m sure there are many minor infractions that a parent should just ignore or overlook. At other times, immediate discipline is necessary. But I’m not sure I’ll react in the right way on the spur of the moment.

DR DOBSON: Obviously, the first thing you have to do is determine Chris’ intent, his feelings, and his thoughts. Is there evidence that Chris is challenging your authority? The more blatant his defiance, the more critical it is to respond with decisiveness. But if he has simply behaved immaturely, or perhaps he’s forgotten or made a mistake, you will want to be much more tolerant. It is a very important distinction. In the first instance, the child knows he was wrong and is waiting to see what his parent will do about it; in the second, he has simply blundered into a situation he didn’t plan.

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